I Was a Prisoner of War, You're Not Okay

I, like everyone else, applaud Republican Presidential Nominee John McCain's service to the United States of America.

However, after listening to Senator McCain speak; I can't help but feel guilty I have never been imprisoned in a POW camp.

I mean, I'm very sorry I didn't join a branch of the United States Military, go off to war, get shot down and suffer as a prisoner of war for many years, but I don't think it makes me a bad person or disqualifies me from being President of the United States.

Maybe from the ages of 31-37 I wasn't held against my will at the Hanoi Hilton, but that doesn't mean I wasn't being productive in a way that assisted my country.

In fact, I was busy having babies and taking care of the children I'd already had before turning 31. I have no doubt my kids will grow up to benefit America because I taught them not to judge others by the color of their skin.

Maybe some of you weren't POW's during your young adult years, either. Why not, the Republicans might wonder. You should have gone out there and got yourself captured.

And this is in no way meant to demean Senator McCain's bravery, but it's not like he had a choice in the matter. I know he could have gone home early but chose to stay so others, who had been there longer, could leave; but getting captured wasn't something for which he volunteered.

"Who wants to be taken prisoner out there today?" the General didn't ask.

(After McCain, Williams and Lawrence raise their hand)

"McCain we'll go with you. Williams and Lawrence, we can't afford to lose your expert marksmanship."

I don't mind the Republicans bringing up Senator McCain's service to our country, but would his sacrifice have been any less significant if he hadn't gotten captured?

How do you think regular soldiers will feel after coming home from war and being asked, "Did you spend time in a POW camp!?" After answering, "No," the question asker will probably assume they aren't too crazy about our country. "Oh," they will dejectedly respond. "Because John McCain was a prisoner of war and that's when he says he fell in love with America. Guess you're not quite there yet."

And since it took being a prisoner of war to discover he loved America, if John McCain wouldn't have had an extended stay at the Hanoi Hilton, does that mean he'd currently be only rather fond of his country?

Hey, the GOP is always accusing us Democrats of being anti-American – maybe it's because we've never spent any time in a POW camp!

Thank you, Senator McCain for your service to our great country – but in between stories recalling your heroism, do you mind telling us how you're going to lower gas prices? Then you can go right back to talking about what those evil Viet Cong did to you, I promise.