"Illegals" as the GOP call them, show up for work on time and do an exceptional job; things Republicans supposedly stand for.
It's undeniable that the GOP simply hates illegal immigrants. "But why," you good people of the world ask, incapable of comprehending how anyone could despise another person before getting to know them. It's probably because illegals are not white males, though Republicans are too scared to admit it.
To show support for those who are trying to make enough money to purchase the basic necessities, we should all go out and hire a day laborer - whether we need one or not.
If you don't know where to find a day laborer, try your local Home Depot, or ask the men who mow your lawn, provided one of them "habla Engles."
You'd be surprised how many things you can find for a day laborer to do around the house. Spackle the wall, get stains out of the carpet, defrost the freezer, play catch with your kids… Yes, it's safe to say that illegal aliens are more than happy to accomplish any task to which they're assigned.
Now, some on the far right will say there are a lot of robbers, rapists and murderers residing in the day labor community. I understand these are just Republican talking points, but to be on the safe side you might want to make sure your husband stays home from work to protect your family.
It will be spiritually worthwhile, even if your pocketbook takes a hit because your husband will be losing a days pay, in addition to the salary for the day laborer, which should be at least minimum wage + tips. You'll also want to have them fill out a W2, and because they probably won't have a clue how to go about completing the form, you'll need to have a Spanish speaking accountant at their disposal. (If you can find an illegal immigrant who is also an accountant, that would be ideal; though they're probably more difficult to come by than a decent human being at the Republic National Convention.)
Then of course there's the cost of the Spanish/English dictionary. But come on, shouldn't you have one of those anyway? After all, if Christian Conservative's would spend less time reading the Bible and more time brushing up on their Espanol, maybe the United States would be more respected internationally.
Am I doing my part, you ask. Of course, who do you think typed this article as I orally dictated the words? Sure, it took me more time to correct the mistakes than it would have taken me to type it up myself, but I don't mind in the least - because progress, my fellow liberals, doesn't come efficiently.
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